LET IT aLL sTART hERE
For Catholics who care...
“What does relativism have to do with same sex marriages?” My old friend asked me as we walked together in the yellow light of afternoon.
“It does not recognize anything as definitive. That being said…it allows under the protection of its umbrella… same sex marriages,” I said scooping the soft, sweet green of an avocado out of its leathery shell and onto a spoon. “Relativism gives us a license to do as we damn well please, rewrite the rules… redefine the truth...make a mess of things in the name of our own ego and desires.” I licked my spoon clean and tossed the avocado shell into the tall grass along the trail we walked.
“Who’s truth?” My friend queried, watching me curiously. “Was that good?” he asked through a crooked smile, a smile that said: “You are too weird.”
“Our truths...truths that were once derived directly from reality or were established by logic.” I reached out and plucked the blue, vacant half-shell of a robin’s egg from where it teetered on a raft of birch leaves.
“Don’t play devil’s advocate with me.” I warned. “I love avocado….” I continued: “Anyway, like the baby robin once housed in this empty shell, we are created from the conjoining of one male and one female. And… that was the sole purpose of the robins who coupled and made this egg. ‘Not to satisfy their own ego and/or desires, but to continue the species. So, if we are like birds of the air, and we know we are in that regard, how is it that same sex marriages will create this end result?” I asked as I flipped the paper thin shell of my example over my shoulder to join the remnants of the avocado.
“I am worn out from debating the absurdities we are constantly asked to accept. Most recently the Bruce Jenner fiasco. I am offended by people who will do anything to avoid offending others, even if it means swallowing a lie...even if it means allowing the lie to take on a life of its own. For me, to call a partnership between a man and a man or a woman and a woman, a marriage is as untrue as calling Bruce Jenner a woman named Caitlyn.” This is simply a case of mislabeling.
I turned to face my friend: “When will we have the courage to seek, recognize and accept the truth regardless of how difficult it is? When will we start ...I wonder? When will you? Who will be brave enough to say: I love you. But enough is enough.”
“The world is getting more and more confusing to me and sometimes I find myself wishing I were simply a robin,” I said, as I walked on ahead of my friend.
Who doesn't know someone who is an addict? Who hasn't suffered extreme anxiety and/or depression at some time in their lives? Honestly, I live with all three of these afflictions in one way or the another throughout the day...every day. It was because of these unmanagable difficulties that often had this interior dialogue with myself :
"This situation isn't making me happy. It is all his fault...
no, it is all her fault. I am going to say something --
because something has to change ."
I was always ready to assign blame. Then one day I realized--
while in prayer and with the Holy Spirit's intercession what the truth was: I have never been happy and the common denominator through it all ...is me.
So what have I done with this new found knowledge? What has happened since then? Well this realization seems to have propelled me into deeper and more constant prayer mainly because I am seeking help for a malady I don't know how to fix. So I have prayed until I felt that I am wearing the words of The Our Father around my neck like a talisman. And I have prayed until there was nothing else for me to do but to commit myself to ridding the anxiety and depression I am plagued with-- with more prayer. This is what it took for me to finally "get it" : Unbearable pain, like my hand was being held over an open flame. And then an emptying out of my "self". Now there was room for Jesus to come in and reside and do His work.
I have lived on this planet a long time. In many ways, I have been blessed like a cat with nine lives. I feel more than qualified to say this: Only the Grace of God can resolve addiction; will power is not enough. One must pray and pray unceasingly to petition God for assistance. For me, this has been a really powerful way ask for His much needed Grace to rid oneself of weight of depression.
When we are able to think through situations simply and resist complicating what even a child knows... we are faced with the truth: God wants us happy. God wants us to feel loved and cared for. The devil wants us miserable. He wants us to play the blame game and he wants us, with our bad behaviors, to chase away all those who care for us. The devil wants us to ignore Our God, the God who asked us to be His people...the God who loved us into being. The devil wants us angry and wants us blaming God for not helping. If we isolate ourselves from God who is LOVE, the devil will have us all to himself. I have kept company with devil more than I want to admit. But now I pray till he takes leave of me. I have a choice...I can let evil destroy my joy and peace and ruin my relationship with others or I can turn toward Christ and feel okay.
I often think of Matthew 8:30-37 when I am "crazed" and how Jesus brought deliverance to the possessed men by casting the legion of demons into a herd of pigs.
I am not suggesting this experiment in prayer, minus medication is for everyone but I have committed myself to working hard on living Christ's prescription and I will report back to you on my progress. After all, I had nothing to lose and I have everything to gain.
Once…I was notorious for wearing my heart on my sleeve, now… I wear “my faith” there. This witness to the wonder of being Catholic, my wearing my Catholic on my sleeve, has been beneficial to those around me and much less dangerous to my person. I recognize now that my heart and my faith are much the same animal: They are the vessel that determines my capacity to love.
We are told that people who wear their heart on their sleeve express their emotions freely and openly. Often, they possess little ability to be deceptive, they speak earnestly and honestly about whom they are and what they know. They are extremely childlike in that manner. What good news that has been for me! For Christ tells us the truth: “Unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
I started to think about this idea of my wearing my Catholic on my sleeve. What does this clever, little slogan really mean? To me, it means that I openly witness to my concern for my salvation and my attempt to grow closer to Christ every day. It means… that I have committed to do whatever helps in that regard; change/refrain from whatever doesn’t help. It means… I know I am not in this race alone and that I ought to be concerned with the salvation of my sisters and brothers in Christ as well.
I am a big, noisy person. I always have advice and I am not afraid to share my thoughts about anything. I think a lot. I have been known to rumple feathers, get under the skin of many and sometimes say too much. People identify me as that Catholic woman precisely because I wear my heart on my sleeve. I tell everyone I can about my encountering Christ and my increased sense of the supernatural. I know this aggravates some people and yet, only yesterday I thought: I must not stop sharing my Good News, even though it is not always fully appreciated, applauded or preferred. My speaking about Christ to men and women I encounter, for example at the pub-- my witnessing to the glory of the Faith and the beauty of the Church to these folks who perhaps have lost touch with God’s active presence in our midst-- is a great thing for me to do. It very well may be the only chance they had to think about God all day. And a day without God crossing a person’s mind is sad day indeed.