LET IT aLL sTART hERE
For Catholics who care...
There comes a time, if one is paying attention, when patterns in one's life become undeniable. There is a... "ah hah!" moment. A time when one realizes what its all about. Some call it "enlightenment". Thomas Merton tells us that true enlightenment can only occur when a person recognizes, accepts and lives what God has willed. It is all in the action! But that topic is material for another blog. For now, I will say that I have arrived at a discovery that if I act upon it, can only be beneficial for me. I am sharing this with the hope that it will be helpful to you as well.
The change in my life that I am desperately in need of is based on my voluntarily submitting to "God's will of good pleasure." From Philippians 2:13... we are told that: "...not in your own strength... for it is God who is all the while effectually at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight. Do all things without grumbling and faultfinding and complaining." Do all things that we recognize as pleasing to God. What I have slowly come to realize is that I must attempt to do what I recognize is pleasing to God, for there is where the peace I have been searching for is found. I understand now that it is a peace that only Christ can offer me, because I have tried everything else. In other words..."God's will of good pleasure" is about embracing, gladly, what God has willed in my life. There can be no more messing around, no more "swivel hipping" my way through life in an attempt to realize "a happy ending." No more pretending or posing. I must remain focused on the concept of "God's will of good pleasure"... then go deeper until I am walled up inside Christ. For as St. Augustine once wrote: "I will not rest, until I rest in Him." Hoping that through the process of osmosis I will be able to understand and embrace "God's will of good pleasure", I have listened over and over again to the monk's voice speaking God's truth as he, Merton, understood it. (Thomas Merton on the 12 Degrees of Humility) I listen as though my life depends on it... because more and more it feels like it does! My turmoil, my lack of peace... my anxiety is born out of my laboring, no... my wrestling with God's will. I know that now and I believe that a sick spirit comes from struggling with what the soul already knows is good and right. So I ask myself: Could it be that wresting with God is the source of madness itself?
9 Comments
Dennis
8/24/2015 10:07:37 pm
Evelyn, your faith is huge. Maybe, and I don't see why not, God appreciates a good wrestle. Maybe He loves especially those who aggressively struggle with Him as to know Him better.
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Dennis
8/29/2015 12:30:32 am
Somewhere in the old testament, the Bible instructs God's people on making oaths and promises. I believe the words tell us it is better to not make commitments to the Lord than to make a commitment and not follow it to it's conclusion. Ten years ago I made a promise, that after ten years on the farm working it while I still had the physical ability, I would return to serving people in need. People who know me can see I played the last ten years to the max. I've enjoyed it too! Like Evelyn, I'm wrestling with God's "pleasure". What now? How am I to fulfill my commitment. He has something for me this I know. As a young man I ran towards doing God's job for me, now I'm having trouble even facing it, can even bring me to tears. I know this is a request God seldom grants, that He shows me, in no uncertain terms, where I should go, what I should do. I realize I need help: could you good people pray for me......pray that I lose this wrestling match and turn towards my commitment, towards my God!
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8/29/2015 03:26:18 am
I'm here with you Dennis. This journey is not for cowards! Thanks for writing about your struggles. It helps us all.
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jackie white
8/31/2015 04:44:24 am
Dennis,
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Dennis
9/1/2015 08:51:02 pm
Jackie, I don't know how to say thank you for the gift you give.
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jackie white
8/31/2015 06:32:00 am
Evelyn,
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Ellen Moran
8/31/2015 03:26:12 pm
I am particularly dense when it comes to "Merton".I get a headache.I have to keep things very simple . I have a supernatural ability to complicate the simplest things.I like St.Theresa(Avila).
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9/6/2015 09:21:10 pm
I especially like your candid sharing here Ellen. Thank you.
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