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All week I have been searching for the notice of my friend Gary G.’s death in the local newspaper. I found that there was no “notice” of him, no obituary. Its absence caused me to pause and wonder: Why? Someone said: He didn’t want anyone to have to spend the money on him....” As if $1.25 a word to write a life, or to acknowledge a soul’s passing, would break anyone. But perhaps my friend didn’t see the value in his own life. There is where the shame of it lies. So I ask myself: How do we live worthy lives?
Obituaries are not unlike resumes. Both are a “summing up” of one’s history. Both try to convince the reader that the person whose name appears in the bold letters is or was “somebody”. So, in a way, a person becomes a product or a thing that is “sold”. Sadly, if the product isn’t or wasn’t useful enough... it is in that same way... discontinued. Not thought of. Not noted. I have built a lot of resumes in my time. I’m good at constructing a life that “sells”. And yet if I were to die tomorrow, would the notice of my death convince anyone I was worth knowing? I hope someone would spend $55.00 on an "obit" and write the following about me: She was poor in spirit. She was meek. She mourned and was comforted. She hungered and thirst for justice. She was merciful. She was clean of heart. She was a peacemaker. She suffered persecution for justice’ sake. And . . . The kingdom of heaven is hers! I will miss my friend Gary whom God sent into my life to assist me in living a life of value.
5 Comments
4/10/2015 06:35:37 am
Condolences, Evelyn, on the passing of your friend Gary. In my experience, obituaries need not necessarily be paid notices. For two of my family members, the local newspapers did beautiful tributes. My father's was headlined, "Pillar of the Community" and my sister's was, "A Ray of Sunshine." My mother's only obituary was the one that I wrote, which the newspaper published and like the others, was free of charge. 4/10/2015 10:03:30 am
No need to send it; I already have it. It's the same text that I emailed to you, which had been emailed to me. I see that it now does appear in the comments for your March 27 post, "ex-post-facto" for me but it's there. Only it's dated the day before I wrote that I didn't see it. Your intro that day talked about "seeing what isn't there;" so was I not seeing what WAS there? Cyber gremlins!
Fr. Michael
4/14/2015 11:39:55 am
I was happy to hear that a graveside service will indeed take place for Gary ... I hope you can make it there to honor him, Evelyn. Leave a Reply. |
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