In Search of the Altar Boy

3/9/2015

I am a problem solver; however, it has taken me most of my 50 years on earth to understand that there is not much I can do to change most things. It has been a hard lesson to learn, and an even more difficult truth for me to accept. To leave all things in the hands of Our Lord has been challenging for me.

I have invoked the Serenity Prayer so often that I secretly suspect it may be conspicuously flashing across my forehead - in neon!

But, there is one thing I am convinced that I can do something about: Advocating to restore the Altar Boy back to his rightly place beside the priest during Mass.    I am hoping that the subject of this blog, a dilemma many parishes are plagued with, will catch the attention of someone in the Albany (NY) Diocese who then will Tweet Pope Francis and encourage him to check out this week’s blog. Perhaps then the powers that be will focus efforts on what I perceive as symptomatic of a greater problem: The dreaded “Catholic Man-Crisis” which inevitably has its effect on vocations to the priesthood.

Before LetItAllStartHere, started here, I was planning to produce a documentary chronicling lives of Altar Boys. I discovered a significant connection between an adult man’s commitment to a career in the service of others, and the time they spent, serving Mass. Their willingness to serve God as young boys was often reflected in their chosen vocations be that as a firefighter, police officer, environmentalist, foster parent, teacher, coach, etc. It was my intention to have the documentary celebrate the lives of these men and it would also become my way of answering Pope Francis’ call to participate in The New Evangelization.

As of today, our parish has only one dedicated altar boy. There are two or three adult women altar servers. These generous women have stepped up to assist the priest during Mass, and I am grateful to them. However, that is certainly not the answer to the problem that has been ignored for far too many years. One that has inevitably resulted in the shortage of males who are actively involved in the Catholic Church at this time.

The slow extinction of the altar boy must be reversed. The use of surrogate altar servers - be they young girls or grown women, seems to be preventing the Church from taking the necessary steps to recruit young men who are willing to volunteer their time and talents to serve our Lord.   And it is an obvious, to me, that these females have become obstacles for boys who either feel uncomfortable being “up there with girls” or complacent, saying to themselves : If “mom” is going to handle it, like she makes my bed or cleans my room, I will just sit back and let her.

I understand that we live in different times. In the past, parental influence played a large part in a boy’s decision to serve on the altar during Mass. I recognize that our culture does not encourage or support a boy’s choice to become an altar boy. I get that the popular pastime for a young boy these days is to participate in a sport, or lose oneself in the fantasy life of a gamer.   But that doesn’t mean that I think this issue should not be talked about because…quite frankly...“what’s the use?” and the attempt to resurrect the altar boy, abandoned.

I am not afraid to admit that I am in agreement with Rev. Joseph Illo, pastor of Star of the Sea Church in San Francisco, who came under fire for his courageous and controversial decision to phase out female altar servers. Fr. Joseph believes there is an “intrinsic connection” between the priesthood and serving at the altar; since women can’t be priests, it makes sense to have only altar boys. He added: “Maybe the most important thing is that it prepares boys to consider the priesthood.” How can anyone reject this logic? I don’t. And I am determined to do something about it. How about you?

27 Comments

Marie

3/9/2015 06:26:28 am

I hope that my son will have the opportunity to do this one day. I have two brothers who were dedicated Alter Boys. One, now a dedicated firefighter and the other is a 911 dispatcher. Both are Catholic Men who are active in their communities.

jackie white

3/10/2015 12:57:00 am

When I was young umpteen years ago, the altar boys were so numerous that they needed to take turns serving and maybe that would happen once a month with 2 of them serving together.

During the same time period, the parents went to church on Sunday and were connected to the church community. That is not the case anymore. The children don't come to church because the parents don't practice.

What I am going to suggest at my church at one of our council meetings is the family approach because we have the same problem here.

Mom, Dad and the children would be responsible for helping at a Mass. They could serve in the different ministries as a family. There are enough different ministries at each celebration to have something for each family member to do. The very small children can be carried by a family member. Say the Jones' family would have the responsibility of the Saturday liturgy. I can hear you say what about the training? Since a lot is about returning to the church in many cases, it is definitely something for the Evangelization committee to handle once they are trained. That person would be there to make sure when Fr. Michael begins the celebration all would be ready to go.

It is worth a try. Nothing else is working these days all over.

We have one altar girl for the 11:30 Mass each week. Her mother is a lector and her father is an usher and is learning to coordinate for that Mass. It is great seeing the whole family working together for the liturgy.

Not only will the altar boy/girl work, but also the whole family will be there and they can all leave as a family and either go to a restaurant or home for the family meal after they have had the best meal possible in their faith community of the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of the Christ.

If this spreads, you will have altar boys who will grow in their faith and if God calls them to the priesthood, it will be a family affair.

Dennis

3/10/2015 11:15:43 pm

I was an altar boy. For me it was a chance to symbolic minister to Christ directly. I helped him preach, prepare for the meal, wash before his new covenant declaration, and help clean after the meal. I also declared His arrival and departure at the beginning and end of each mass by leading the way...cross in hand. I have never been closer to God than during that time in my life?

jackie white

3/11/2015 06:04:49 am

Dennis,

That is so beautiful on how you expressed the ministry and your closeness to the Lord as a result. Maybe if Fr. Michael or another priest ever had a meeting you would be very helpful there to share what you just expressed.

evelyn link

3/11/2015 12:10:17 am

When I read your beautifully written witness to your Faith a shiver ran down my spine. ThanK you. Thank you. Thank you Dennis.

Diane

3/11/2015 02:16:37 am

Several of my children have served as altar servers and it has been a great experience for them. 3 of my sons served and I believe it has helped them to understand the parts of the Mass better and to have more reverence for the Eucharist. But I must add that it has also been a very helpful experience for my one daughter who also serves at Mass. It has demonstrated for her how we are all called to be participants at Mass and she is learning the importance of all of us being active members of our parish family.
I think the times when our parish has seen a "surge" in the number of altar servers was when the children were invited and encouraged by the Priest, himself. I remember one time when our Associate Pastor went to each of the faith formation classes and encouraged the kids to come and give it a try. We had several boys from that "round up" who continued to serve in our parish for many years.
Just like adults, I believe all they need sometimes is a personal invitation to give something new a try.

jackie White

3/11/2015 06:01:12 am

Evelyn,

Something else came to me. I checked your directory and found I believe 24 families with pictures of children.

Would a family meeting be something that might help? I know your parish has many opportunities for socials. Maybe something for parents and children and then bringing up the altar boys/girls and the involvement of the whole family. Having them give you ideas on how the revival of that special ministry could come back to life.

evelyn link

3/11/2015 07:10:41 am

Hi...my mission is to advocate for the return of the Altar Boy diocesan wide. Hadn't Dennis comment
filled you with wonderment. Thanks

Frances Wellington

3/12/2015 03:55:57 am

I would like to see all male alter servers,I do think it will help encourage priestly vocations. When the girls started to serve the boys started to dwinle. I saw this happen at Precious Blood Church.
Are the girls going to think they can be ordained someday? Some are already pushing for female ordination and some think they are already priests. I don't know what they are, but I know they are not priests. I think we have to encourage the youth to serve and let it be known that the boys will be given priority, because they may someday be ordained. This is my opinion the desision is with the pastor who I will never go against. To me he is always " Persona Christi" and I'm sure he is doing what he thinks is for the best of the parish.

Evelyn link

3/12/2015 04:37:55 am

I think what many people aren't considering is that it is not about "us" or what feels right to "us" or what we want. Often we are asked to set our own needs and wants aside for the common good. In this case, specifically, The Body of Christ aka The Church. If we are true believers we must support what is good for The Church, even if it goes against one's personal politics. This can be difficult to accept. But less so if we believe in Church teachings and trust.

Frances Wellington

3/13/2015 01:15:01 pm

Evelyn I am and always will be for the good of the Church. And the
Body of Christ aka The Church is and always will be before my needs or wants. What I had to say came from Canon law 230#2
In part it reads. "The Holy Sea respects the decision adopted by certain Bishops for specific local reasons on basis of the provisions of Canon law 230#2. At the same time however, the Holy Sea wishes to recall that it will always be very appropriate to follow the nobel tradition of having boys serve at the alter. As well known this
has led to a reassuring development of priestly vocations. Thus the obligation to support such groups of alter boys will always continue" We do not have the children willing to serve at the alter. We need to appreciate all those that do serve and continue to encourage the boys. I hope this is enough to convince you that I am always for the good of the church.

evelyn link

3/14/2015 05:58:12 am

Fran: Your motives were never in question! You are a noble, humble, soldier of Christ. But, I often wonder what is going on when I hear Catholics reject Church teachings, pick and choose what parts of being Catholic works for them or dismiss tradition. The hierarchy that exists in The Catholic Church is needed to uphold church teachings. It is an essential concept which we must be humble enough to embrace. (The Catholic Church describes as its hierarchy its bishops, priests and deacons.) We, the church, are the living Body of Christ... as Christ himself established it. To put it simply I believe that without its head (the hierarchy so many mistakenly dismiss as archaic and accuse as being misogynistic) the body (The Church) will be riding, horrifically, through the darkness seeking the ruin of souls, not unlike Washington Irving's Headless Horseman. We are not too, too far away, collectively, from that now! And that has me worried. Accepting that I am not in control of my life and that I am called not to live the life I prefer but the one God has planned for me to live is difficult. I understand how it feels to wrestle with all of this. But I know too, first hand, that living The Joy of The Gospel and following as close to the Church’s teachings as I can, has made my life far richer and easier to negotiate.

jackie white

3/15/2015 01:10:01 am

Evelyn,

Something very special happened this morning at the Nursing Home. I gave communion to this elderly man who can't talk but he is very lucid. He called me up close to him and mouthed these words.. I used to be an altar boy. I almost fell over. I did not say anything for him to say it. It was as a blogger said in the past that there are no coincidences just God-incidents. This was one such incident. I asked him to pray for a come back for the altar boys. He said I could put his name here as taking on that mission.His name is Joseph Venuti.

evelyn link

3/15/2015 03:22:57 am

Wow! Wow wow wow. If that's not a message to us then I don't know what is. How can you help me on my mission to resurrect the Altar Boy? Thank you so much for getting on the blog asap to share.

Charlene Caramore

3/15/2015 06:49:16 am

I can see all of the points that everyone is making here about the importance of male altar servers but please, please pray about the role of the female altar server before you send those girls back to the pews and reject them once more. We do need priests for our church--undoubtedly--but look at the number of people who are parish life directors now. Many of them are women and they are running our churches--doing the administrative parts of the job so that the priests can be freed to focus on their Sacramental ministry. Let's not be shortsighted. Women are needed in the service of the church just as much as men are now days and perhaps even moreso BECAUSE of our priest shortage. Yes, we need to recruit people to serve at Masses and then we need to train them properly and treat them with respect. Both of my boys were altar servers and neither one goes to Mass as adults. Part of the reason I believe was the harsh treatment of the priest that they received when they were on the altar. We need to be inclusive for both sexes, loving, and nurturing--as our good Bishop Ed says, "A family of families" to these children. If anyone is going to propose banning altar girls, I'll be the first one out there screaming, "NO!" Those girls are serving God with their whole hearts and who are we to tell them they aren't good enough because they're the wrong sex. Don't exclude; work on the boys to step up to the plate and join their sisters. One more point, it's often the girls who are up there in our parish telling the boys what to do and keeping them on task because they're daydreaming, fiddling around, or forgetting what they're supposed to do. Please pray about this one. Jesus stands with open arms, not just for boys but for girls too.

jackie white

3/15/2015 07:08:14 am

Charlene,

Notice I used your 2/25 sharing on the Ash Wednesday homily blog....no coincidences just God-incidents. That touched my heart deeply. In the response I just gave I was not ousting girls and would never do that. I totally agree with you on that account. My example just related to a particular person remembering his days gone by and he wants to see some altar boys and will pray for that. No way saying no to the girls.

Charlene Caramore

3/15/2015 07:54:50 am

Thank you, Jackie. I realize that but other comments were leading to the ousting of girls or at least looking at them as part of the problem. I was talking about this at dinner with my husband who was an altar server for years and we were both reflecting on the fact that the priests' scandal also did harm to this situation. When it first erupted, we had parents who kept their boys off the altar for that reason--we know this because they said it to us. I have to admit that in retrospect I have my own doubts about my sons and things that could have happened in the past. Even on a subliminal level, could parents be fearful of encouraging their young boys to be involved? We can't overlook the elephant in the corner. Damage was done to the church by a few sick men who took advantage of their positions but we can't hurt our girls or blame them for the absence of the boys when there are other reasons. . . and perhaps many reasons. We need to look at the research as well. Are there more male altar servers in that church in SF who banned the girls? Are the number of priests out there rising? We don't know all of the facts. So we must pray--for healing for our church, for those who have been hurt in our churches, and for those who give of themselves for the sake of Jesus Christ--both male and female. God bless all of you. Easter is coming!

Corinne Connington

3/26/2015 11:05:35 pm

All three of my children were alter servers one was a female . We had never seen a decline in males . Females should be just as important for they also have an importance . Most will be mothers some day and will also bring the faith to their children who may be their sons .

evelyn link

3/16/2015 01:00:53 am

I have decided to sit quiet and reflect on the various posts concerning the issue of resurrecting The Altar Boy. I will say this: I am out there, wherever I go questioning parents, boys, older men who once served the priest during Mass, as well as priests themselves about this subject. What I have written is not solely my opinion. The original posts reflects the many conversations I have had. Who else reading this blog can say the same? Do me favor: get out there and initiate the conversation yourself. See what you find. Also, remember this: One can find evidence to support any point of view.

evelyn link

3/27/2015 12:15:39 am

I am not discounting the role women play in the formation of the Faith. I wish the reader would set aside any preconceived opinion, any personal agenda and read the essay following the point the essay raises. There is a "man-crisis " in the Catholic Church. There is a shortage of priests and whether it irks some...or not... the fact is: Women can not satisfy the role (s) of men in the Catholic Church. That's not how JESUS put it together. Read the Gospel.

Corinne

3/27/2015 02:41:21 am

Wow very interesting maybe you misunderstood me Evelyn .

evelyn link

3/27/2015 04:07:40 am

Hi. Mine was a general response to the subject and overall response to the blog. Not specific to your comment. I'm glad to see you're following along. I appreciate it really. And I wish I could speak to your sons about their experience as Altar Boys. Thanks for being a Catholic who cares.

Corinne

3/27/2015 04:50:07 am

I do have to tell you my daughter is the one who is more devout and spiritual although my boys do go to church , jack comes with us. Mark my eldest his girls go to catholic school. . My kids were involved with scouts which were sponsored by the church , my eldest received all his catholic medals at St Patricks cathedral . Also he was an served mass for cardinal that day . My daughter also was a Boy Scout explorer . They were in a scout band which was led by there religous ed teacher.
They were very involved they did service for the church and gained morals there good kids . Now adults

Corinne

3/27/2015 04:55:17 am

Very hard to text or type on a bus lol sorry

Fr. Michael

4/7/2015 04:52:47 am

Well, it's been about a month since the original altar boy post. Happy Easter everyone!

Securing committed altar servers, regardless of gender, has been an ongoing frustration for me as pastor. I have on numerous occasions, invited kids to serve at the altar, making rounds to faith formation classes, inviting siblings of current servers, etc. A few kids and / or their parents have expressed interest and asked me about it without any solicitation from me. I've trained on the order of twenty kids to serve since I've been pastor. Not a single one stuck with it for more than a few months, and many stopped showing up after a time or two. Ages ranged from those who just made first communion to high school.

This is a symptom of a larger ill in our society: the unwillingness of people to make and keep commitments to serve a greater good than themselves. As soon as someone doesn't feel like doing something anymore, or that something isn't doing anything for them anymore, they let it go, regardless of what they said they would do at the start.

In terms of altar servers, thanks be to God I have two kids who continue to buck this trend and have been serving long before I got here. Praise God too for the adults who asked me about the possibility. I am most grateful for their committed and conscientious service of the Mass.

Relative to the connection between altar servers and vocations to the priesthood, I'm not terribly convinced. I never was an altar server, and as you know, I am a priest. I wonder about the battalions of former altar servers out there who a) never became priests and b) who no longer even practice their faith. Why is this the reality if altar serving is so crucial to a boy's faith formation / vocation affirmation?

Finally, a good priest needs to be comfortable interacting with and ministering to every kind of human being there is, both men and women. These skills ought to be developed and encouraged early in life so that the lack thereof later in life is an obstacle to be overcome.

I agree with this response to Cardinal Burke's negative view of what he called a "Feminized Church". This was written by a layman in Catholic Education for ten years in a weekly newspaper called OSV. Bill Blackburn writes, "I have this to say to Cardinal Burke: Real men are enriched, not threatened, when working beside well-qualified women who are dedicated to the service of the Church. Further, I don't see how feminism (whatever that means) can be blamed for men who have failed to respond to the gift of faith."

I'll close for now by saying I don't know if I'd still have my sanity if not for all the wonderful women who serve my parish in all kinds of ways. Their various ministries and their dedication have been invaluable to me, and I would not be able to carry out my priestly duties as effectively and as consistently withouth them.

CatherineWeredyk

4/9/2015 06:25:40 am

Thank You Fr. Michael

Edie

4/14/2015 05:38:45 am

Thank you for weighing in, Father. Your comments are important too. Thank you Evelyn for starting the discussion and putting your opinion out there. One thing I feel strongly about is the importance of encouraging the female servers even as we also seek more male servers. I pray that our evangelization work will bear fruit.

LET IT aLL sTART hERE
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