LET IT aLL sTART hERE
For Catholics who care...
To those who refuse to age...an urgent message: Please read Ronald Rolheiser's The Holy Longing!1/10/2015 I was constructing a post inviting my readers to "keep watch" with Christ during first Friday Holy Hour when this email came in from a friend who is in her early sixties and who is struggling with the passing of time and it's effects on her physical beauty:
"I was good. Now I am crashing and suicidal. Ugh. I miss you too. Really a lot. I hate being old." I have suspended the usual programming to bring you this message. I have written the following letter to a mutual friend about the plight of our other "aging "friend: I hope there is some value in it for all who read along. My Dear Friend: If you study the conversations we have had about living "uncoupled" and tease out the sentiment behind them...you don't sound much different then Tess when she proceeds to intonate these familiar words: I hate being old. Honestly, by your constantly revisiting the reputation of the younger version of yourself, the woman you once were...you are saying the same thing. In Ronald Rolheiser's book The Holy Longing, he speaks directly to this problem. I want you to read this book. There is chapter that addresses relationships: How they change and how they are sometimes lost in the process of evolving. Rolheiser reminds us of the antidote that Christ came to dispense. Remember, we possess an innumerable amount of relationships: Tangible and intangible, with living things and with objects. We are often consumed by these relationships. We think about them often, they effect our lives greatly. But rarely do we reflect on the one we have with self. The aging process is analogous to the vitally important lesson Jesus offers in and through the Paschal Mystery. Rolheiser reminds us "that there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven". Ecclesiastes 3:1 I wont try explain what Rolheiser has to teach us. I would ask that you read The Holy Longing because I couldn't do Rolheiser's understanding and sense of spirituality justice. I love this book! I found the answers I was searching for in Rolheiser's writings. Get yourself a copy.
11 Comments
sharon ruetenik
1/10/2015 11:20:48 pm
Over lunch yesterday a friend and I discussed the issue of aging. Her husband, a handsome and enormously successful man, bemoaned the approach of his 73rd birthday. My friend offered no sympathy. I agree. Life, thank God, is not a perpetual state of adolescence. We embrace different phrases and roles because it allows us to experience different types of enrichment and fulfillment. Consider the minor example of reading. Our understanding of any work of fiction will change greatly as we reread it at a later stage in our lives. I work with young adults and find their energy and perspective on reality interesting but lacking. I prefer the company of the over 50 crowd in most cases. And this is not simply a tribal mentality. Excuse the generality but older people just have more to say and are less self referential.
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Stephanie Zito
1/11/2015 09:19:28 am
Comment deleted
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Stephanie: I thank you for sharing your insights. Perhaps I was unclear. My post is about aging, something that our present culture has great difficulty with. The post was not intended to address a "suicidal friend", but more the cause of the general discontent felt around getting old. (There was never a suicidal friend...just a dramaric one. I hope I did not seem flippant. I was serious about how necessary it is to turn toward God for answers during difficult times. When you have tried everything...and nothing works...realize it's time to try God. Again...read The Holy Longing
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I appreciate your heart flet compassion Stephanie
1/11/2015 01:03:31 pm
Thank you addressing better than I had.
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jackie white
1/12/2015 04:15:22 am
Evelyn,
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Stephanie Zito
1/12/2015 05:20:55 am
Relationships most definitely "change" as we grow spiritually. When we have a "mature" understanding of God's Will and live our lives according to His Word, we change.
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Stephanie Zito
1/13/2015 05:56:36 am
Evelyn you put in the title of this blog To those who refuse to age...., read the book Holy Longing. I do not refuse to age. therefore I am not interested in reading the book. I simply responded to this blog because you told me I am being unkind after I told you that I do not want to write any more comments. I have stated in this blog all that I intend to say about dealing with the "aging" process. I have been studying my own books from my very extensive Catholic Book library including God's Word on a daily basis.
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Ellen Moran
1/14/2015 04:26:41 am
I prefer using the tool of humor.It's indispensable in regard to the occasional "shock"of my reflection.I've noticed as my body ages it directly correlates to my "funny bone" or lack thereof.When I have aches or pain or dis-ease issues I can become completely "self absorbed"and seriously cranky.I sooner or later remember to get out of "myself" and climb out of my "pity pot"and try to find the humor,joy,humility,and gratitude,for the Lord giving me life and loving me, even though,I can be the biggest "crybaby".I sometimes ask the Lord,can I get my "face fixed"?Then he asks me, but didn't you want to help what's her name with her thing?I'll say yes Lord,I did and I will but I would like to have a disposable "enough"income to fix my face...I argue...He tells me..I don't look so bad and it's what's inside me that lives "eternal".I cheer up...I have told the Lord..presumptuous little spoiled brat.. that I am...if I ever get "mammon" enough...well...you know.The Lord said be careful what you "pray for" Ellen,He's not kidding.Have you seen some of those "plastic surgery fails". Holy ...White Chimney Smoke ! I also go through my "gratitude list",things that I'm grateful for,forgetting to be grateful happens to all ages. No,no,there is no easy sainthood...looming on my horizon but there's "progress".It is a gift not to take oneself too seriously! I have to work on it daily.
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Dennis
2/1/2015 01:35:51 am
How long, Lord? Will thou forget me forever? How long will thou hide thy face from me? How long must I bear pain in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, Lord my God; lighten my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death; lest my enemy say, "I have prevailed over him"; lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. But I have trusted in thy steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountiful with me. Psalm 13
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