LET IT aLL sTART hERE
For Catholics who care...
Who doesn't know someone who is an addict? Who hasn't suffered extreme anxiety and/or depression at some time in their lives? Honestly, I live with all three of these afflictions in one way or the another throughout the day...every day. It was because of these unmanagable difficulties that often had this interior dialogue with myself :
"This situation isn't making me happy. It is all his fault...
no, it is all her fault. I am going to say something --
because something has to change ."
I was always ready to assign blame. Then one day I realized--
while in prayer and with the Holy Spirit's intercession what the truth was: I have never been happy and the common denominator through it all ...is me.
So what have I done with this new found knowledge? What has happened since then? Well this realization seems to have propelled me into deeper and more constant prayer mainly because I am seeking help for a malady I don't know how to fix. So I have prayed until I felt that I am wearing the words of The Our Father around my neck like a talisman. And I have prayed until there was nothing else for me to do but to commit myself to ridding the anxiety and depression I am plagued with-- with more prayer. This is what it took for me to finally "get it" : Unbearable pain, like my hand was being held over an open flame. And then an emptying out of my "self". Now there was room for Jesus to come in and reside and do His work.
I have lived on this planet a long time. In many ways, I have been blessed like a cat with nine lives. I feel more than qualified to say this: Only the Grace of God can resolve addiction; will power is not enough. One must pray and pray unceasingly to petition God for assistance. For me, this has been a really powerful way ask for His much needed Grace to rid oneself of weight of depression.
When we are able to think through situations simply and resist complicating what even a child knows... we are faced with the truth: God wants us happy. God wants us to feel loved and cared for. The devil wants us miserable. He wants us to play the blame game and he wants us, with our bad behaviors, to chase away all those who care for us. The devil wants us to ignore Our God, the God who asked us to be His people...the God who loved us into being. The devil wants us angry and wants us blaming God for not helping. If we isolate ourselves from God who is LOVE, the devil will have us all to himself. I have kept company with devil more than I want to admit. But now I pray till he takes leave of me. I have a choice...I can let evil destroy my joy and peace and ruin my relationship with others or I can turn toward Christ and feel okay.
I often think of Matthew 8:30-37 when I am "crazed" and how Jesus brought deliverance to the possessed men by casting the legion of demons into a herd of pigs.
I am not suggesting this experiment in prayer, minus medication is for everyone but I have committed myself to working hard on living Christ's prescription and I will report back to you on my progress. After all, I had nothing to lose and I have everything to gain.